


Dumb Ways to Meet Teddy Lupin

by sunshine_locks



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: College AU, F/M, LMAO, M/M, Muggle AU, american au probably because idk how uk universities work, this could be considered crack fic honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21892780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshine_locks/pseuds/sunshine_locks
Summary: Victoire Weasley knew many ways, unfortunately.
Relationships: Teddy Lupin/Victoire Weasley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Dumb Ways to Meet Teddy Lupin

**Author's Note:**

> there is some hate speech, but it's, like, in a funny context? it's hard to explain but in the story it makes sense. anyways enjoy this dumb fic lmao.

As a first year in university, there were a few things that you just automatically realize, irregardless of whether they were written out on the common room’s bulletin board or not—because if you didn’t, at some point you _would_ face the consequences.

Victoire learned this the hard way.

They were as followed:

  1. Do not— _do not_ —clog the sink, whether with your food or your many, many dishes. If you do, you might be on the other end of someone who had decided that _this_ was the last straw and go absolutely fucking feral on you. (Victoire had already broken this rule on the fourth night at South Hall, and Yuri went the fuck off on her. Yuri had since apologized, and ironically, the two of them got along splendidly now. That was great to hear because the two of them were stuck together for the entire year.)
  2. If you set foot on the lawn on which the university founder’s statue stood, you had two choices: sprint across the lawn in under forty seconds and kiss the statue or fail to graduate in four years. Most people chose the former—even the least athletically inclined—despite the herculean task. (How this worked Victoire wasn’t completely sure of. To do the task wouldn’t you have to run all over the lawn?)
  3. If you wanted your things to be in your possession, don’t leave them out in the lounge for more than three days or else it was public property of South 4th floor now.



And lastly:

  1. Don’t invite your resident advisor into your room unless you were propositioning them. (People knew this one a bit too well; her resident advisor was apparently the one of the best ones out there.)



Guess which one Victoire just broke? If you guessed the fourth one, please get your mind out of the gutter. It was the second rule, and though the fourth rule sounded like the worst, there was indeed a compelling argument for the second. Because running? Who truly enjoyed running anyways?

Victoire didn’t mean to step on the lawn, really, but it was sort of unavoidable when she was chasing down a squirrel (A squirrel? A goddamn squirrel of all things? What even was this university?) for her stationary paper—it was good paper! And hella expensive too!

She was going to get it back, squirrel be _damned._ And she did, but at a small cost. Namely, knocking herself on the lawn and knocking some other boy down as well but sparing him the punishment of a forty second sprint. All she remembered of him was that he had jet black hair, and then a few splashes of pink and grey.

Victoire felt sorry, she really did, and at the same time, she didn’t want to screw with whatever bad luck there was around this damned statue; university was going to be fun for sure, but unless it was for her master’s or her doctorate’s she wanted the fuck out.

After kissing the statue and one promise to herself to rinse out her mouth thoroughly, she finally got a sense of the time, and saw that it was nearing 6:30 p.m. and _oh shit her floor meeting was in about ten minutes._

Victoire looked heavenwards, and then began running to South Hall, hoping with all her heart that she could cut a twenty minute walk into a ten minute one.

—

“You wouldn’t believe the fucking day I had,” Victoire told Yuri as she fell into the seat next to her, absentmindedly signing in on the sheet of paper.

Looking Victoire up and down, Yuri replied, a smirk working its way up her lips, “You look like you stepped on the founder’s lawn.”

“You know me well,” she sulked, brushing dirt off her dress that she swore she already did, like, two minutes ago. Yuri took notice and questioned it.

“Oh,” Victoire began, “I tripped onto the lawn while chasing a squirrel, and I took some boy down with me too.”

“Was he cute?” Yuri questioned disinterestedly.

Victoire threw her a dirty look. “You aren’t even at least a little bit concerned for me?”

The other girl sighed dramatically, sagging in her seat. “ _Fine_ , are you okay?”

“Yes, thank you for asking.”

“Now, was he cute?” she repeated.

Victoire made a noise of disdain. Hoping to distract her, she asked, “What’s taking our RA? It’s like 6:45.”

“Who knows? Maybe he’s out partying or whatever,” Yuri said, snorting.

“Is he a partier? Wait, would there even _be_ a party today?” Victoire couldn’t see any reason why, seeing as it was the middle of the week. But, then again, if people wanted to get drunk, then by God would it happen.

Yuri shrugged. “Maybe, who knows. But like, anyways—” She cut off to look behind Victoire, and she followed her gaze.

It was the floor’s RA, or who she assumed to be. He looked quite disheveled, and the pink pair of glasses on top of his head were majorly skewed.

Victoire held in a laugh; he looked like he went through a similar hell to her own.

“Hello, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, I’m Teddy Lupin, your RA for the year,” he greeted breathlessly, taking a seat on the stool up front. “I’m sorry for being late, I was accidentally knocked over and scraped my knee. I know ripped skinny jeans are cool and all, but…” He gestured toward his bandaged knee.

Wait… knocked over, he couldn’t have possibly been—?

Teddy continued his little anecdote, “It was by the lawn, you know, _the lawn_ , but thankfully I didn’t have to kiss the statue. I did have to run here, so I’m not sure that I really got out of anything.” He laughed, and a small smattering of laughter followed.

Oh dear _God_ , he totally fucking was!

Victoire slid down her seat and tried to hide her face as best as she could.

“Dude, you okay?” Yuri whispered.

“I think… I think he’s the boy I knocked over,” she whispered back frantically.

Yuri looked up, and she immediately looked like she wanted to burst out into laughter.

“Don’t laugh,” she hissed, emphasizing her statement with a jab to her hip.

Yuri only sent her an amused look, and for the remainder of the meeting, Victoire only vaguely listened. She caught some tidbit about hook ups and the hooking of the ups or whatever, and then something about her roommate contract.

“Yuri Yanaihara and Victoire Weasley?”

Victoire was about to push Yuri to get their contract, but Yuri beat her to the punch.

She sent her a scowl, before quickly grabbing the papers, avoiding eye contact with him. From the mixed look of surprise and recognition, her plan of going incognito for the entire year failed. So.

What a great start to her first semester at university.

—

“ _Fuck_ chemistry, it can go fuck itself,” Yuri said out loud, groaning.

“Hm?” Victoire managed to get out in her state of half sleep. She technically also had chemistry homework to do, but it was five in the afternoon, and the sun was shining so nicely through the windows of the lounge that she couldn’t help but entertain taking a nap.

“Like, I can barely manage to do basic mole conversions, but this shit takes more brain cells than I have, which is like three. Like, was I supposed to know that you were supposed to multiply the number tetrafluoroethylene atoms by four to find the number of fluorine atoms?”

She sluggishly sat herself up and blinked. “What the _fuck_ did you just say to me?”

She opened her mouth to repeat herself, but then Victoire cut across, “See, if you think you have three brain cells, then I have like half of one. I’m not going to understand no matter how many times you repeat it.”

Yuri knocked her head on the table, and for a moment Victoire feared for the safety of her laptop, as it was jostled violently by Yuri’s interruption.

“I’m sorry,” Victoire offered to her, smiling sheepishly. “Would cookies make you better? I’ve got a whole tub of premade dough for occasions like these.”

“Would you really make some for little old me?” Yuri said, brightening up considerably. “Wait, what flavor?”

“Chocolate chip.” She pushed herself up from her chair and quickly made her way to her dorm. As it turned out, she was craving something sweet too. Indulging her sweet tooth was probably a bad idea, but her parents weren’t there to stop her, so whatever, right?

Victoire must’ve not been paying attention, because just as she turned a corner, she harshly bumped into someone with a loud thud.

Just as apologies were about to spill from her mouth, her half a brain cell put two and two together to realize that it was Teddy Lupin that she had knocked so harshly into.

Victoire _could_ have jumped into action and helped him up and check if he was okay, but both her brain and body decided to gang up against her in favor of admiring just how _good_ Teddy looked in all black and those fucking pink shades on top of his messy mop of black hair and about how he didn’t have a single right to do that to her easily impressed mind.

So at the moment all she was capable of was gaping at him like an idiot.

“Is everything okay?” Yuri called out, approaching her. She gasped when she saw Teddy on the floor. “Aren’t you going to help him?”

Victoire didn’t move, continuing to stare.

“Victoire, you useless—” Yuri muttered, and then gave a helping hand to help pull Teddy up.

“Thank you,” Teddy told her, giving away a small smile.

“Sorry,” Victoire muttered, and she saw Teddy wave it off dismissively with that sweet smile of his.

There was a moment of silence between them.

“So, like, are you into him?” Yuri asked, grinning at her like a madman.

“No,” she replied, perhaps a bit too quickly.

“Oh my God, you so are,” Yuri gushed, looking happier than she should have been to learn this information.

Victoire made a noise of discontent, taking out her keys to unlock the door to her dorm. “Don’t you have a chemistry assignment to submit in like six hours? Shouldn’t you get on that, considering you’ve done all of like one question?”

“But this is so much more interesting, I mean, a forbidden romance? An RA and a girl on his floor? Eons better than learning mole conversions.”

“It’s not in the rules that you can’t date someone on the floor you watch over,” Victoire replied immediately, perhaps even idiotically, she realized as Yuri’s Cheshire grin got even wider.

She went to explain herself, waving the tub of chocolate chip cookie dough frantically, “I mean—no! It’s not like that, I was doing research because I was going to apply to be an RA!”

“Sure,” she said, elongating the word. “You have nothing to fear! Teddy’s kind of a dreamboat, isn’t he? I mean he’s studying psychology, he wants to be a psychiatrist, he’s super funny and sweet, what’s _not_ to like? Oh oh oh! And he’s single, he broke up with his boyfriend like four months ago!”

Victoire paused momentarily; it was pretty admirable that he wanted to be a psychiatrist—studying to be one was hard work in comparison to her own graphic design and marketing degree because _hello_ , med school? Fuck that.

But she wasn’t going to mention any of this to Yuri, because she would only get more annoying.

“How the _fuck_ do you know all that?”

“Unlike you, I actually make an effort to talk to him instead of avoiding him.”

Yuri had a good point, but she did not have to take this torture for any longer!

“We’re not going to talk to about this any longer,” Victoire said, pushing past Yuri to go back to the lounge. Her stuff was unattended to, and she didn’t like that. What if someone decided that they wanted a free laptop that day?

“But—” Yuri began, but Victoire sent over a sharp look that could cut diamonds.

“For today, fine, but this is _not_ the end of it.”

Victoire would take whatever she got.

—

“Yuri, why the fuck would you recommend this fucking mess of a book to me?” Victoire asked serenely, setting her book down calmly on the table. She was all smiles despite the volatile words that came out of her mouth.

Yuri looked up from her calculus work, grinning almost maniacally. “Well, I certainly wasn’t going to suffer alone!”

Looking down at the book despairingly, she thought that this book had a chance. For once, the first few pages caught her eye! And she didn’t immediately want to go do something else after reading the first sentence.

“I mean, you could have at least _warned_ me, like come on.”

“Would you have read it otherwise?”

Victoire stayed quiet.

“I thought so,” Yuri replied with a self-satisfied smile. “What did you think?”

“It’s a dumpster fire of a story,” she deadpanned. “I mean—I just don’t—like what the fuck even was this story. It started off so great too… like I mean she was kind of caricature-y with all the traits of a typical strong girl, but she seemed to be well-rounded, so I gave it a shot. But then she then it slowly started going to shit? Like, I wanted to nope the fuck out when she started justifying hitting her boyfriend even when he said he was uncomfortable by stating that he had to get used to her being strong girl. Ma’am this is a Wendy’s, stop your bullshit.”

Yuri laughed loudly, slapping the table. “My thoughts _exactly_. Bro I was about to throw some hands when I read that. She better square the fuck up. And now I kind of understand why people said people only liked it for the smut, because plot? What plot? Like if she really wanted to write erotica, she should’ve leaned all in, in my opinion.” She paused, thinking. “Did you read the whole—”

“Yes.”

“What did you think—”

“Trash like the whole goddamn book,” Victoire said vehemently. “Six pages. _Six pages Yuri!_ Who the fuck in their right mind comes out in the form of a monologue, much less one that lasts six pages?” Losing her fire, she sighed, sagging. “I don’t know man.”

“Straight authors stop writing bad coming out scenes challenge 2k18.”

“I know that I’m pan, technically, but after that whole fiasco I’m starting to think that maybe the gays don’t deserve rights,” Victoire stated rather loudly, and because her luck was so shitty, just at that moment Teddy fucking Lupin entered the lounge, looking at her weirdly. “I’m a little offended considering I’m bi and nonbinary at that, so what the _fuck_ is up Kyle?”

Victoire couldn’t get any words out of her mouth for a moment, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. “I—no, that's not what I—oh my god why the fuck are you sitting down.”

She managed to shoot an annoyed glance at Yuri, who was currently laughing her ass off. Telling her to shut the fuck up was in order, but right now she was a little preoccupied.

Was he preparing to torture her and let her not live this down?

Teddy gave her an amused look, pulling out the chair next to her. “Well, there’s nothing stopping me is there?” He smiled. “So, what’s all this about?”

Relieved, Victoire relaxed. “Just about a book, really.”

“Oh, is it any good?”

“ _No!_ ” Yuri and Victoire simultaneously yelled, effectively surprising Teddy. He held his hands up to put something in between the two girls and him.

“Wow, uh, okay. What’s wrong with it?”

“What isn’t wrong with it, should be the question, really,” Yuri snorted, inspecting her nails.

“Uh, just a lot,” Victoire went to explain. “I mean it’s really trope-y, like in a bad way, and when you came in, we were clowning this whole six page coming out sequence that took place.”

Teddy lips quirked up. “Damn, that’s rough. I haven’t read books in a while except for maybe when my nose stuck in a psychology textbook for my classes. So, it’s not like I’m losing out on anything.”

“Same. I only read it because Yuri asked, but maybe I should stop listening to her.” Victoire glared at her disapprovingly and Yuri smiled sheepishly at her.

Teddy laughed, and then said, “You’re so cute.”

At that moment, she swore her brain short circuited for a few seconds while her half a braincell tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. Did she die? Was she dead and her soul was in heaven?

When she finally snapped out of her stupor, she got something coherent out of her mouth. “So, how is that?”

“Hm?” Teddy looked at her questioningly.

“I mean, being a psych major and premed… Doesn’t sound like the most interesting thing ever.”

“To the right person it is,” he replied. “I like it a lot, and it doesn’t make me miserable. Though physics does make me want to die a little on the inside.”

“Is it really that hard?” Yuri asked, suddenly. “I have to take it for my major next semester, and I don’t look forward to it.”

“I think it’s just a matter of like, knowing the ins and outs of it and knowing how to study. If you need help, I’ll be here anyways. It hasn’t been that long since I took it.”

“Really? Thank you so much!” She paused to smile. Then she added, “You know you’re really cool?”

Teddy mocked flipping his hair, which probably would have worked for real if his hair was slightly longer. “Thank you, I know.”

“Arrogant,” Victoire tsked.

“Confident, more like,” he said with a cheeky smile, and Victoire’s heart threatened to fail on her again. He got up and stretched his body. “Well, this has been nice, but I actually meant to take my dishes back to my room and start today’s work actually.”

Slightly desperate to keep talking to him, Victoire blurted, “You should sit in the lounge.”

“What?”

“I mean… you should sit in the lounge and do your work,” she explained, twisting her hair in her hand. “The sun’s out and it’s nice, isn’t it?”

Teddy blinked. “Yeah… okay, sounds nice.” Picking up his dishes, he left to his room with a, “See you in a bit.”

There was a resounding silence in the lounge until they heard Teddy’s door slam shut.

“You _so_ like him,” Yuri said, giggling.

“Shut the fuck your mouth,” Victoire told her with no real fire behind her words, getting out her own calculus work.

—

“I’m so _tired_ ,” Victoire whined, following Yuri, who was pushing along a shopping cart around.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t overslept, we wouldn’t have had to run ten minutes to catch our bus.” Yuri turned a corner.

“I couldn’t help it, I was tired then too,” she tried to defend herself.

“Because you fell asleep at fucking five in morning?”

“I couldn’t fall asleep,” she mumbled, to herself mostly, inspecting the boxes of pasta, remembering her craving for alfredo pasta yesterday.

“Victoire fall asleep before five in the morning challenge,” the other girl joked, placing in a thing of satsumas in the cart.

“Yuri sleep for longer than five in the morning challenge,” Victoire retorted.

“Touché.”

“Do you think that we could make dumplings?” Victoire questioned, catching sight of a pack of dumpling wrappers, remembering her other craving. She honestly just felt like eating out the entire store; stress eating was a coping mechanism she fell to when she was, well, extremely stressed.

As it was, she had three tests looming over her in the coming week.

“Hm, maybe not this weekend, but the next probably. We could celebrate finishing our first round of exams,” Yuri replied, looking up from the two loaves of breads she was holding.

“I don’t know about those exams man. I’ve been studying, but it sort of feels like I’ve been learning how to study rather than actually studying. I just really want this month to be over.”

“No, I get that, but in all honesty, you’ll adapt. And then it’ll be over before you know it. That’s what happened to me in high school, like first I was a dumbass in year nine, and then suddenly I end up here? I wasn’t expecting that.”

Victoire laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Hey,” Yuri said, blinking, “do you think that you could go to the baking section and get some all-purpose flour? I just realized I don't have any back at the dorm.”

“Uh, yeah, what brand?”

“Generic.”

Victoire nodded and then set off on her task. Turning around into another aisle, she found her target and made her way to it.

Trying to reach for the flour that was way in the back, she stood on her tippy toes. She was taller than most girls for sure, but were these aisles really tall or was it just her?

She fell back on her heels with a small huff, and then tried again. When her fingertips touched the flour, she smiled in success and pulled it forward.

But perhaps it wasn’t a true victory as she accidentally pushed down some products next to the flour and some on the shelf below.

“Wha— _ouch_!”

Alarmed, Victoire looked beside her, and saw Teddy rubbing his head. Thankfully he was wearing his glasses, so they didn’t shatter, but a dense pack of flour falling on him couldn’t have been easy to bear.

Instead of being falling into a state of paralysis like she did last time, Victoire jumped into action.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” she asked, helping to brush off the flour off his pitch-black t-shirt. Now that was just real unlucky.

“Nah, but I’ll be fine,” he told her. “I think.”

“Sorry, I didn’t really mean to…”

“No, accidents happen. Great thing my glasses weren’t on my head, huh?”

“Would’ve been a great way to make a good day worse. Speaking of which, why are you wearing them inside?”

“They’re photo-sensitive migraine glasses. Sometimes the light gives me bad headaches.”

“Oh! That makes sense why you always have them on you then.”

Teddy nodded, then Victoire was nodding, and then they were both nodding together like a pair of idiots meant to be.

Inwardly, she was cursing, because _hello_ , she needed to make better conversation than talking about glasses of all things.

“We should stop meeting like this,” Victoire finally got out with a laugh. “I swear all of them have been just me making a fool of myself.”

Teddy smiled at her, hugging a pack of flour to his chest. “Let’s make it happen, then. Give me your number? So we can plan a date or something.”

“A date?” she questioned, rather surprised at his directness.

“Yeah…” Teddy laughed awkwardly, rubbing his neck nervously. “Because I like you, kind of. And I was under the impression that you liked me too… unless you don’t, in which case, this makes this really _really_ embarrassing.”

He took a step back, and Victoire reached out to hold his free hand. “No, no, that’s not what I meant it like at all! I really like you too, if you hadn’t realized how much of a fool I act around you. And, um, actually—” She fished for her phone in her purse, pulling the screen for a new contact. Handing him her phone, she continued, “It would be great to go on a date some time.”

Teddy smiled at her sweetly. Man, she could get diabetes from looking at it for too long.

“Thank you,” he breathed out, giving her phone back to her. “I have to go back to shopping for groceries, but I’m excited to see you again soon. Hopefully we can meet like normal people this time.” He gave her a cute wave of goodbye, along with an equally cute smile, and she couldn’t help but return it. It was too contagious for her to not do so.

Victoire kept smiling, and when she made her way back to Yuri with the flour, her smile had only gotten wider.

**Author's Note:**

> all of these stories all happened to me but with more idiocy and less romance lmaooo
> 
> also i know i make fun of the two girls a lot but i promise that they're all mostly competent lol. 
> 
> and! i am shading two books at once with that whole book convo, and you can figure out one of them, like, immediately if you watch readwithcindy.


End file.
